I am so confused at this point in my life right now….
I have some legit, first-world problems, people! Let me count the ways..
While I am not starving or homeless, I feel, like, so alone and it’s like, um, no one gets me. Like, REALLY gets me, ya know? (did you hear the sarcasm in that?)
Anyway, while I am not in any, current “bad” situations, I think I’m allowed to complain every once in a while. Is that not the point of blogging? Now all you strangers can no my personal issues..yay!
I can’t even say, “i hate my life” because there are no, ongoing and significant issues happening at this particular time. I mean, sure, I’m struggling with an existential crisis, but who isn’t?! Seriously. Why the fungus am i on this PlanEt? (figured I’d mess around with capitalization an whatnot…)
I’m starting school probably sometime in late, late august, and I am SO annoyed. I just know a bunch of dumb shish-cabob is gonna happen. Ugh, stupid work…always makin’ people work and, and stuff. I need to, and definitely should have already accomplished, drive. i need to get a permit, get a license, drive to a random cliff or beach early in the morning when no one’s around, and literally SCREAM. MY. VOICE, AWAY. yea, i know what “literally” means. I will scream so loudly, so intensely, for a long amount of time and just kill my vocal cords. i wanna be hoarse the rest of the day. No, screw the day. A WEEK. i couldn’t care less at this point. And yes, the phrase is “couldn’t care less”, not “could care less”. The latter implies that there is still an amount of care left in you. i COULDN’T care less. I just need a good scream to rid my body of all these toxins….Yup, toxins. all this negative energy, worrying about the approval of others, fearing rejection, being criticized, all that. Tradition can go fly off a cliff. i just got really annoyed!
I’ve been struggling for months trying to figure out a way to believe in God. I am not even joking right now. I actually got prayed for at a church not too long ago because I told them i wasn’t sure if i believed in God. I kid you not! I was standing there, crying my guts out, my mom is there, hugging me and junk, and i’m just feeling like a complete waste! WHere’s God? Why doesn’t love me? I don’t deserve life, blah blah, yada, potato.
I’m even choking up as we speak (type, whatever). And so, my inevitable breakdown draws near. Hopefully, it doesn’t pop up during the summer, I have plans for fun awesome things and such. But, i don’t want it during school during the fall, either. hmmm….such a dilemma. Anyhow, God or not, straight or not, i’m just gonna sit back and enjoy how funked my mind is. im not even gonna check this for speling erors. so bad, am I rite?