So……………………….

(Yea…I curse, so…enjoy?)

Wow, this is embarrassing. Over a year since last I wroteth herein mine thoughts and such. Update about me, I guess? Well…last time I was on here, I was cruising through my second year of college, sucking at Japanese, “straight”, and love-hating on life. Now I am a dropout, actually improved in Japanese a little so やった, and am in a secret relationship with a close friend of the same gender. Oh, and still love-hating on life. Ooh gods above and below, words cannot describe the almost-180 of this madness. At least I’m consistent with the Japanese, right? It feels so weird watching words form on this page as I type. I haven’t really checked things on here. I’ve been glancing at email notifications on my phone, but never actually coming here to update things. Of course, I don’t HAVE to reveal all of this…but here we are. I made this blog originally as an outlet for writing experience, which it will still be. But, I’m about to vent like crap on this thing. I had a job. Great job. Nothing wrong with it. I quit. Before the first day even ended. 9-5pm. I was unemployed by 4:30, fighting tears at a bus stop. That was June 7th. Here we are, almost a month gone, and I’m kind of a pathetic mess. I’ll cut myself a little slack. Maybe…bear with me on this…maybe I sensed the evils of the job deep down, my primitive instincts saved me! But probably not. I think deep down I’m a cowardly dumbass who can’t make a commitment to save their life. Ironically, the only thing I CAN commit to is the relationship I’m in with Angel Cake (let’s just go with code names, yea?). And so…Watson braves the storms of desperation, sloth, give-up-ness, and an insatiable craving for chocolate cake. It must be too rich…I swear after three or four bites, I’m ready to throw up or pass out.

SO………….what in the ever-screwing fuck am I to do? (I curse sometimes btw, sorry.)

If you actually read every word of that, thanks. Seriously. It’s easy to get discouraged when no views are seen on here, no likes, comments, etc. I’m over that now. I’m at a point in my life where I need to get out emotions through some outlet that’s remotely positive. This seems like a good enough place to rage now and then..or celebrate.

Ta-ta for now! I’ll be back…might be tomorrow because I can already feel the irk settling in my bones XD <– That’s a laugh face for those who read “ex dee” XD I don’t know. Seems like not all people would know, so I said something. Well, wrote something. Speaking of “know”, I saw a previous post I made on here and GOOD LORD I wrote “no” when I meant “know”. I apologize in advance to the victims of my English disasters. What’s most sad of all is that my major was fucking English..Creative Writing was in there, too..so hey, maybe I’ll post erotica on here, we’ll see. I think that’s basically it. Oh, I love you, 5 followers…if you’re still here >.< ❤ I remember how happy I felt to see people actually looked at my shit and said, “That’s alright” and wanted to keep tabs on my posts. I’m seriously grateful. I need a job…XD

And with that, I say Goodnight.

(Update approx. 10 minutes into the future…You have 4 followers, Champ…

Oh…Thanks…XD)

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Even Though I Love Bacon…

I was skimming through old assignments from a poetry and fiction course I had taken last year. This one stuck out to me, as I find it ironic how much I actually love pork. Maybe one da, I’ll give it up. Becoming a vegetarian is on the back burner for now, but it is something that I hope to accomplish some day, somehow. But I digress. The assignment was simple: pick an animal, write a poem about it. And…here we go. 

“Oink.”

There were a great many of us,

All happy. Once.

Have you seen Penny?! Paul? Or Patrick?

No. Taken onto the dark place.

Souls echoing screams, echoing screams

Sights so sinister squeals seem so

Sad, really. Predictable now.

They appeared, poked at us,

Grunted cold gibberish.

Decision made. Now Petra gone.

There are a small few of us,

All fearful. Now.

Those curled tails have straightened,

Innocence but a dream, something only seen

With shut eyes and prayers never heard.

I have seen Pam. Pete. Packard.

While their souls bang against those chains,

Lifeless bodies remain behind, hanging, hanging.

Motionless, milky stares never leave my mind.

Them. It was They who began this merry-go-round.

Must lead on for the lost ones.

Just then, the love of my own, meaningless existence,

Taken, poked at, torn to shreds. Hung right before my eyes.

Last words seem but a wild squeal or snort to Them.

But my reply, my wild squeal, my snort: ‘I love you too. Will see you soon.’

Makes my soul die a little with each re-read. Happy Saturday! (I don’t think I can eat bacon today…) 

What Had Happened Was…

Hello and こんにちは! (I’m learning Japanese, so bear with me and the horrible sound bites that may pop up sporadically).

It has been about the time span of a human child’s conception-then-birth since I’ve been here! (‘Bout 9 months, give or take?) Anywho…alright. I’ve been a bit of a forget-me-Phyllis and haven’t been here! My eternal bad, chickadees. Oddly enough -or sad, whichever term- I remembered your sweet existence, dear blog, when I saw someone had liked and begun following you a few days ago. Is it wrong to like a little attention, some semi-human contact via ‘like and subscribe’? 😅

But I digress. I will try with all my might to be more attentive to you, dear, lovely child. And to you, my fantastic five followers fancying fy fosts fand fideas…fank fyou. Really. I am so so new and terrible at this blog venture. I said in 2015 I wouldn’t let go of this very premature fetus so I here I am again, refreshed and ready for action…and maybe some Burger King chicken fries. Key Points: 2017, chicken fries, very beginner Japanese. Happy new year, Let’s hope it’s a good one without…not sure how much of that I’d be able to post without a lawsuit…*sweatdrop*

Ta-ta…for now, I swear! >_< 

 

 

Objection: Supercalifra…etc.

It’s been a little over NINE months since I have been here, so about the time a baby cooks in the oven. (I hope that reads well…)

Anyway, I have a new goal in mind. Lately, I have had terrible, writer’s block and haven’t been able to really find that ‘umph’ to get me on here. However! that has all changed, my friend. Here’s a thought- don’t steal it cause I’ve already done that; where do you think this idea came from? (I’m kidding.). A girl. No, not a girl. Some sort of creature. Actually, let’s make it a girl for now. Let’s make her old enough to have a semi-logical thought process but young enough to get away with things…so, like seven. (Honestly, she could be any age. Everyone’s nuts!)

It’s cliche, but let’s give her a rough exterior. The typical kid-with-spunk deal. That’s all I’ve got so far!

Let’s make this great! I draw, so a sketch of Girl ?? will be coming soon!

~Hugs and punches all around~

Late Night Thoughts…

10:37pm

It’s not that late, but here we go….

You know what’s nice? Uber cute strangers walking down the street. Oh, and rainbows! I love rainbows. Haven’t seen one in a while, though. Ugh, it needs to rain so I can see rainbows and love life…

Leave a comment about the best rainbow you’ve ever seen or the most uber cute stranger you’ve laid eyes on.

Is anyone reading this? Helloooo…..

Scream to The mountains

I am so confused at this point in my life right now….

I have some legit, first-world problems, people! Let me count the ways..

While I am not starving or homeless, I feel, like, so alone and it’s like, um, no one gets me. Like, REALLY gets me, ya know? (did you hear the sarcasm in that?)

Anyway, while I am not in any, current “bad” situations, I think I’m allowed to complain every once in a while. Is that not the point of blogging? Now all you strangers can no my personal issues..yay!

I can’t even say, “i hate my life” because there are no, ongoing and significant issues happening at this particular time. I mean, sure, I’m struggling with an existential crisis, but who isn’t?! Seriously. Why the fungus am i on this PlanEt? (figured I’d mess around with capitalization an whatnot…)

I’m starting school probably sometime in late, late august, and I am SO annoyed. I just know a bunch of dumb shish-cabob is gonna happen. Ugh, stupid work…always makin’ people work and, and stuff. I need to, and definitely should have already accomplished, drive. i need to get a permit, get a license, drive to a random cliff or beach early in the morning when no one’s around, and literally SCREAM. MY. VOICE, AWAY. yea, i know what “literally” means. I will scream so loudly, so intensely, for a long amount of time and just kill my vocal cords. i wanna be hoarse the rest of the day. No, screw the day. A WEEK. i couldn’t care less at this point. And yes, the phrase is “couldn’t care less”, not “could care less”. The latter implies that there is still an amount of care left in you. i COULDN’T care less. I just need a good scream to rid my body of all these toxins….Yup, toxins. all this negative energy, worrying about the approval of others, fearing rejection, being criticized, all that. Tradition can go fly off a cliff. i just got really annoyed!

I’ve been struggling for months trying to figure out a way to believe in God. I am not even joking right now. I actually got prayed for at a church not too long ago because I told them i wasn’t sure if i believed in God. I kid you not! I was standing there, crying my guts out, my mom is there, hugging me and junk, and i’m just feeling like a complete waste! WHere’s God? Why doesn’t love me? I don’t deserve life, blah blah, yada, potato.

I’m even choking up as we speak (type, whatever). And so, my inevitable breakdown draws near. Hopefully, it doesn’t pop up during the summer, I have plans for fun awesome things and such. But, i don’t want it during school during the fall, either. hmmm….such a dilemma. Anyhow, God or not, straight or not, i’m just gonna sit back and enjoy how funked my mind is. im not even gonna check this for speling erors. so bad, am I rite?

ta-ta…FOR NOW!!!!!!

Reasons I Agree with “Non-believers”…

So today, I ended up in a lukewarm argument (heh) with my friends today. Apparently, “men are spiritually closer to God than woman”…WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Pardon the excess use of exclamations and question marks…

This, people, is one of the reasons I side with non-believers, atheists, agnos- Whatever, you get it!

To better explain this issue, please welcome Parker.

*waves excitedly*

Hello, ladies and gents! It is your cute, little friend, Parker!

Religion is a very, VERY controversial topic for many, whether believer or non. To add to Watson’s lack of an argument, I will say that this is a most screwed up society. While the opposing can argue that Eve( “wife” of Adam) was born of his own body- his rib- and is therefore inferior to Adam, I can say that sure, she came from his rib. BUT who ultimately got them kicked out the garden? Well, some believe they were both in the wrong, but God didn’t get pissed til Adam blamed Eve for feeding him the fruit. Um, hello Adam, you were supposed to be her guide, her keeper, the Batman to her Robin . Nevermind, bad example. Adam sucks! Terrible friend…Threw her right under the bus when Dad came around.

Anyway, you may be thinking, “men are superior anyway. Guys can beat girls in a fight.” Sure, the male anatomy enables them to be physically stronger than woman AT TIMES, but have you seen female body builders and wrestlers? Better yet, let a 5’1 adult male at 120lbs go against a 6’2 150lb woman.

*in a stupid person voice* But Parker, dats not fair, she’s bigger, doopy, doopy, doo!

I’m done with this stupid topic. This is why I don’t have a religion…

Welp, Parker just stormed out and slammed the door, so….Goodnight, everybody!

Ta-ta for now

Stupid, Old Man

 “Stupid, Old Man”

by: Watson

There’s an old guy that is always around.

He spends all his energy bothering people, making people angry and making people happy.

He really bugged me this year. One minute, I was just walking with him for a little while.

The next, I’m saying goodbye to my friends and talking about summer and the real world.

Stupid Father Time….